Journal Entry 2019: The Importance of Wording

I used to say “I was adopted.”


What other response could I give if that was the only thing I was told? 

I think adoption can be viewed as an act. That perspective definitely stems from my parents’ point of view. They were the only people I talked to about my adoption. So as I was growing up, those conversations were what I reiterated to people when the topic came up. That particular choice of wording referred to my family formation and set my adoption as a fixed act of the past. Today, I say “I am an adoptee.” For my family, adoption brought us together. For me, being an adoptee is also a fluid identity. 


My very first college course was in sociology and we read “Dude You’re A F**” by C.J. Pascoe. Her research showcased how our interactions and relationships come from what we believe our roles to be. If I learned anything from my experience at a liberal arts institution, it is that our identities are also our lived experiences.

Yes, I was adopted and I am an adoptee. Adoption connected me with my family and it continues to impact how I define and value my relationships to this day. My understanding of my adoptee identity comes from learning what my adoption means to me in relation to my family, how others approach me about the topic, and how it molds into my other experiences. Just like it is for me to be queer, Asian American, have lesbian mothers, grow up in the Bay Area, etc—adoption makes me who I am. 


I was adopted. 

And I’m an adoptee. 

Poem by Anica Falcone-Juengert (she/they) | Connect on Instagram